Judging, Part 1: Dos and Do-Nots

“Judge not.” It’s short and memorable, isn’t it? Everybody knows it, even many non-believers. Jesus spoke these words in the Sermon on the Mount. Say a friend tells you, “I feel judged right now, so you should just judge not and let me do my thing.” Your friend feeling judged automatically means you’ve been judgmental and harsh. Case closed. Right?

Are these two words from Jesus all the Bible has to say about judging? And do they really work as a trump card anytime we’re discomforted at another’s words? Well, not exactly. The New Testament has over 140 passages with the word “judge” in English translations. In fact, the Apostle Paul affirms a type of judging believers are supposed to do. But what did Jesus mean, then? Is he still right?

In this two-part series we’ll consider what place judging ought to have among believers. Part 1 is divided into the dos and do-nots of judging. We’ll cover the negative side first, the “do-nots” of judging. Generally, this covers improper judgment, or judgmentalism. Then, we’ll look at the “dos” of judging, its brighter cousin. In part 2, we’ll examine some Scriptural passages that use the English word judge. It’s an interesting study, to be sure.

Before we begin, let’s acknowledge this can be a difficult subject. First, covering it thoroughly requires summarizing a lot of details and facets. Next, judgmentalism has emotionally impacted many people. One of the more common criticisms of nonbelievers is that they feel the church has judged them while being hypocritical. Yes, it’s true that God’s people are susceptible to judgmentalism just like any other sin. The truths of Scripture though, instead of driving people away from the church, should drive them to God in worship for revealing clear truth on this issue and offering such a great roadmap.

First, the do-nots

Don’t be hasty

If someone accuses you of being judgmental, it’s worth asking if you properly understand the entire situation. It takes time to get to know someone, their perspective, and their outlook. This is the opposite of issuing judgments too hastily. Even if you have a feeling or think you know what’s going on, you almost certainly don’t know it in full.

For instance, consider your roommate who watches sports. Maybe you think it’s a waste of time and assume anyone who watches sports is lazy and doesn’t engage in more Christ-like activities. Then you think they’re just worthless in general and wish you had a different roommate. (See the regression?) But before you judge them and believe they’re wrong or dumb for watching sports, think about their background, interests, etc. Did they grow up playing football or basketball? Do they have a relative who worked or played for a professional team? Maybe their favorite team has an outspoken Christian who shares his faith publicly. Or it’s just possible they find sports relaxing.

If you hastily charge into such situations, you’d assume that everyone who watches sports is wrong (translation: judging). Do you see it? You don’t even have all the facts. Even in a court of law, and even when it’s obvious the defendant is guilty, there’s still a trial. The jurists still examine the evidence. Some time passes by.

A good antidote to a judgmental mindset is to give someone the benefit of the doubt and not just assume they’re wrong.

The point isn’t that you’re supposed to put everyone on trial. Rather, a good antidote to a judgmental mindset is to give someone the benefit of the doubt and not just assume they’re wrong. People are a complicated mixture of good and evil motivations. If the practice in question isn’t obviously affirmed or condemned in Scripture, ask open-ended questions. For instance, if a group of friends wants to watch a TV show that has great battles as well as nudity scenes, first realize it’s not a sin per se to watch such a show. Saying, “That show is 100% sinful all the time, every time” is dangerous. Why? Well, what if someone stumbles upon the show by accident and doesn’t realize it has nudity? Or, what if they only see a short clip without any nudity in a pop culture class?

One final note. It’s easy to remind the one who has a conviction that they shouldn’t judge the one without the same conviction. For instance, the believer who does not watch Harry Potter might start to judge the one who does. However, judgmentalism can work the other way, too. The one who does watch Harry Potter must not judge the one who does not, assuming they’re legalistic and sheltered.

Don’t take the place of God

It is God who judges, not man. It sounds simple. But how often do we assume the role of God in a situation? It’s critical we remember what our role is (limited knowledge and acting under authority), and what God’s role is (huge knowledge and serving as the final authority). Big difference there!

God will bring about several final judgments. Non-believers will undergo the Great White Throne Judgment (Rev. 20), after which they will depart to the lake of fire. Even believers will appear before the judgment seat of Christ (2 Cor. 5:10). Our works will be tested to see if they were done properly (1 Cor. 3:13-15). The end will reveal all things, as 1 Corinthians 4 states (see part 2). Just to emphasize the point, there is nothing that God won’t know or discover in the end. In fact, he already knows these things! The judgments are to emphasize God’s role as supreme lawgiver and bestower of mercy on believers. A great light will shine on every single corner of the universe. After this, sin will be no more as we who are in Christ enter heaven with permanently clean hearts.

If we judge someone improperly, we’re declaring ourselves to be God over that person, as if we have the power to truly condemn them. What a horrifying prospect! In our desire to know the truth, we must never take the place of God.

Next, the dos

Discern properly

According to Google, discernment is “perception in the absence of judgment with a view to obtaining spiritual guidance and understanding.” This is an important definition. “Judge not” doesn’t mean “discern not.”

Jesus was very perceptive. He could put his finger on any situation and diagnose it—and not just say what was obviously going on surface-level, but really analyze and understand how and why things were unfolding the way they were. So, keeping in mind that we aren’t Jesus and don’t possess perfect discernment like him, how are we to proceed?

As this definition shows, discernment doesn’t mean judgmentalism. If you ask someone out on a date, and they intentionally delay a while in getting back to you, or they never reply to your message at all, they’re likely not interested. If you try to engage them with questions and they don’t follow up with questions of their own, it’s probably a sign that you should move on. This is a good and useful skill, sometimes called reading between the lines. However, things would start to fall into judgment if you then concluded they’re not interested because they’re selfish or only want to date someone with no morals. See how discernment doesn’t automatically mean judgmentalism?

But to make matters a bit muddy for a second, if you look at the synonyms for discernment, judgment is right there to greet you. This is right judgment of a situation. Sometimes we need to strive for this, like if parents are trying to understand why their children are misbehaving. But other times, we must be content to discern as much as we can and not respond with scorn towards anyone. Instead, let’s speak the truth in love (Eph. 4:15). It’s not our place to judge others around us but to love them.

Call out sin (including your own first) in love

Yes, there is a place to call out sin. But calling out sin can be judgmental if done improperly. Let’s consider how to do it the right way. And even if you call out someone’s sin the right way, it’s possible they’ll take it as you judging them. And perhaps it is, if you’re not really interested in seeing them get back to a right walk with God.

Matthew 7:3-4, which we’ll explore more in part 2, talks about not confronting someone on their sin if you have sin in your own life. Once you’ve cleared up your own business, Jesus permits and commands you to help your brother remove the sin that’s blinding them. Don’t think you have to be perfect. “Well, I did that same sin at some point in my life, so I can’t ever confront anyone about that thing.” This isn’t what Jesus means. Repent of it first, and confess it to God; then, during the season of repentance, talk with your brother about it.

Maybe you’re on the other side. If a good thing in your life has become sin, and another believer sees that and confronts you on it, God’s Word doesn’t permit you to simply play the “you’re being judgmental” card and pretend your freedom in Christ allows you to carry on. It takes a lot of courage to confront someone about sin. Receive their words soberly and consider how best to repent.

In another example, if some of your believer friends are cussing, you’re not judging to gently point out Paul’s command for wholesome words (Eph. 4:29) and then affirm the value of well-spoken words. You’re actually doing what’s right, as foul language doesn’t accord with Paul’s command and thus qualifies as sin.

Confronting sin in someone else isn’t being judgmental, so long as it’s done in an attitude of love. Think of biblical confrontation as a gentle dialogue over coffee. Judgmentalism, by contrast, is an out-of-control rage with finger-pointing and yelling. And that finger-pointing is the final word. No grace, no second chances. Strive instead for proper calling out of sin, with lots of chances for help.

More on the j-word

Love others always, and be patient with them as you continually surrender to Christ. A true understanding of the gospel is a vaccine against judgmentalism, as everyone has sinned and no one can be perfect by their own effort.

Next up, we’ll look at various New Testament passages and do a word study on various passages with Greek words translated into English as judge or judgment, etc.