Read the first chapter of my new work in progress right here!

Chapter 1: Introductions, and sadly, a few interruptions

Hi. I’m a narrator, and I’m stuck in this book. Wait, what? Yeah. It’s kind of a long story. So, here’s my plan. I was originally going to narrate another story, because that’s what I do. I narrate. I’ve narrated lots of stories before. Sci fi, westerns. I even tried romance once. See, a lot of stories have a narrator–someone who invisibly guides the story along from start to finish. And usually we don’t get involved personally in the story. Really, we can’t. It’s part of the code. What code? The Narrators’ Code. I’m giving it capitals there, but to be honest, I don’t really know if it has capitals or not. I’ve never seen it written out before. It’s always stated orally. We narrators have a special society hidden away. We come from all walks of life–men, women, old, young, religious, secular. Me, you ask? I’m a Christian. That’s all I’ll tell for now. 🙂

So, if you noticed, I haven’t given my plan yet. I can kind of ramble sometimes. Anyways, the plan. Ahem…I kind of want to give that more flair. The Grand, Master, Super-Fun, Amazing, Awesome…Plan! See, here’s the thing. I have another story I could narrate for you, but I sort of want a break from that. I’m getting a bit up in years and want to tell my own story. Yes, that’s it. Narrate my own story.

So now that you know the plan, let’s analyze that a bit. First, is that a good plan? I believe it’s a good plan. See, narrating can make a person a bit detached from the real world as he or she spends all his (or her–okay, enough of the mandatory both-sexes inclusion here. You get it.) time narrating fiction. Of course there is the possibility of narrating a true story. I was offered a chance to narrate a C.S. Lewis biography once, but turned it down. I couldn’t get the British accent, sadly. And you just can’t go around narrating the life story of maybe the greatest 20th century author without being able to nail the accent! It’s…just unthinkable. That’s the kind of thing that’ll get you kicked out of the narrators’ society. And then where would I go? But back to it. Young reader–well, who knows. Maybe you’re 85 years old (older than me–a clue for you). This is actually one of the joys of narrating. We get to reach so many people as they enjoy a book. Or movie. Some of the younger narrators are going for movies. I say that’s a bit tragic. Clearly books have been around longer and have more storytelling potential than movies. Why, the Bible itself is written and not given in film. If it’s good enough for God, it’s good enough for us. So, I think that is about four or five interruptions now. Didn’t I say narrators talk a lot? I’m particularly prone to it. Here’s why my plan to share my own story is a good plan. As you’ll see, my life before becoming a narrator (and even during) has enough to keep most people interested. I believe it will interest you a great deal. I have learned many lessons and truths about myself, about the world, etc. And as a narrator, I’ve been able to travel into other stories and watch the characters. Kind of like the holodeck in Star Trek if that rings a bell.

But next, isn’t this all just a bit selfish? I raise this almost as devil’s advocate. There are a lot of “I’s” in these sentences. What if I’m just a selfish individual with a negative (but charming) influence? In that case, I would need to be avoided, certainly not read or listened to. Well, all humans are of course selfish. It’s in our genes. Part of the reason we need rescue. That, my readers…That is the ultimate story. It’s really the best story, as it spans the entire beginning-to-end of our existence. The saving Gospel of Jesus. I believe though that any life story is worth sharing because all humans are created with worth and dignity.

And what about my statement that I’m stuck in this book? I meant that more figuratively, see. I could leave anytime and go back home to my house in narration village. I sort of said that to grab your attention. I mean, you know how the first few sentences and paragraphs matter the most. Charles Dickens didn’t go about writing “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times” on page 15. But consider that in a sense, I am stuck. Stuck in my own life. And who of us isn’t stuck in his own life? Can you right now leave your life and go to another? You can temporarily escape into a story, but it ends sooner than you might like and you’re back in your own real life. I’ve learned this even as a narrator–no, especially as a narrator. That’s one thing about the village. I live there, but I want to stay connected to the real world. Many times I come back to the real world, usually America but sometimes Britain or Italy or Egypt. I wander the streets and look into peoples’ eyes. How do I do this? Well, I can’t really say right now. Ask me later.

So, there you go. My intentions are out there now. I’ve narrated in essence every story I’ve ever wanted to narrate…except my own. I’m ready to do this. Will you join me? I’m going to (or “gonna” to use more realistic wording, but that just sounds so weird) share my story, and lessons, with you. Along the way you’ll find out stuff like…

• What are some of my favorite stories?
• What is the best story I ever narrated?
• Why is this narrator using bullet lists in a fiction story? How is this remotely a good idea?
• And finally, what have been the most impactful moments in my life?

We’ll also have some fun. For instance, I might mess with you, the reader, or do things that narrators shouldn’t do. Not like horrible, sinful things. But maybe just things that are slightly annoying or break the narrator best practices rules. Oh, wait–the Code. Need to call it the same thing every time. If you want to know how I might mess with you, you’ll just have to wait until…I mess with you. Until next time!